A Clone, a Chibi and an EZ Bake Oven
by Mesita
Summary: Otogi wants a chibi because everyone seems to have a chibi story. But you don't want to mix Otogi with an EZ Bake oven, especially if it's one of Yami's defective ones.
1. EZ Bake Oven

**::Kitzaku-san::**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu Gi Oh, the concept of Chibis or Otogi. XD I just _might_ own my little version of Chibi Otogi… but you never know anyway.

**Authoress Note**: Actually… Kayumi-kun and I were writing our little Mary-Sue-ish fun YGO stories that no one knows about. And Otogi wanted to be a girl, so he stole Yami's EZ bake oven and… ok, I'll stop. I don't want to give everything out and I fear I may have already said too much! -.-; In any case, that's where the idea came from—and I promise I'll work on those other fics!! I'm just really bad at continuing… x.x

Anyway, all these references that I'm making to Yami and Yami Bakura and Jou being chibis are al the fanfics people wrote. Do you know how many Yami chibi fanfics there are out there? XD Yeah… so it's like half-almost-semi-satire.

**::A Clone, A Chibi, and an EZ Bake Oven::**

"Da bwocks!" Chibi Yami cried out and threw a toy horse at a tower of building blocks. The tower fell to the ground, right on top of Chibi Yami Bakura. The ancient tomb robber sniffed, half concealed in the pile before throwing them off of himself and lunging at the pharaoh, screaming.

"Settle down you two." Otogi said, bored. He flipped through another issue of Transworld Skateboarding. "It's all fun and games until someone starts crying to me."

"Otooogiiiii!" Sure enough both the chibi yamis cried in unison.

Setting the magazine down and rolling his eyes, Otogi moved over to the fighting chibis and picked them up, one in each arm. "You two are more trouble than what your hikaris are paying me, honestly. I wonder how you turned chibi anyway…."

He managed to set Yami down in a crib and Yami Bakura in another crib on the other side of the room. Otogi was stuck babysitting for the two yamis-gone-chibi while their hikaris were out seeing Phantom of the Opera (**Authoress**: I know, I know… I just _have_ to put that in…). Now, exactly _how_ the two psychotic yamis got turned into chibis in the first place was beyond him. 

As a matter of fact, a lot of his friends were turning into chibis. Take Jou for instance. He was a major favorite. And why Seto always took care of him and not Otogi himself was beyond his own imagination. Yami and Yami Bakura were constantly turning into chibis. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing—because at least Otogi got an extra job. Even if the job was, well, hell.

But watching Chibi Yami fall asleep got Otogi thinking. How come _he_ never turned into a chibi? What… did it have something to do with a millennium item? Well, obviously that couldn't be… because otherwise Jou wouldn't turn into a chibi. Or perhaps it had to do with popularity? Whatever the case was, Otogi was never a chibi.

If Otogi _did_ turn into a chibi… what would he act like? According to him, he would _not_ throw blocks and his aibou's koi's chibi yami. Not that his aibou's koi had a chibi yami. In fact… he didn't even have an aibou. So what was his point again?

His point was:  if he was a chibi. At least he would be well behaved.

Otogi glanced sidelong at Chibi Yami's EZ Bake oven. It was sitting solemnly in the corner of the nursery (that Yugi had mysteriously installed in the back of the Turtle Game Shop. It was a good thing too considering how much his Yami turned into a chibi.). Yami barely used it anymore. After he made brownies that tasted like cardboard, he decided that being a cook wasn't his strongpoint. Though, if the brownies didn't actually have Duel Monster cards in them, (thank you Chibi Yami Bakura) they might have tasted good.

Nevertheless, Otogi found himself wandering off to Yami's forgotten EZ Bake oven. Maybe if he made little Kuribo Cakes for when the two chibis woke up, they wouldn't be so cranky or homicidal for that matter.

So Otogi set to work, mixing flour and other various ingredients that he figured would be in a cake in the first place. It wasn't _so_ hard. He was just careful not to spill anything and placed it carefully into the EZ Bake slot and waited.

What he didn't realize was that when you're cooking something, you should _always pull your hair back_. It's highly unsanitary to find hair in your food. But what did Otogi know about cooking anyway? The oven did all the work anyway right? Like… magic?

All he had to do was wait for a few moments for the tiny cakes to be finished. So to pass the time, he made sure both the chibis were asleep and went back to reading his skateboard magazine.

After a few moments, a strange smell filled the air. It smelled somewhat like burning cookie dough and hair. Growling, and wondering what the heck was going on, Otogi set down the magazine.

"GREAT SCOTT!… I'll have to kill Ryou for getting me stuck on that word. In any case: HOLY COW!"

The EZ Bake oven was smoking. (No, it was not an addict). But nevertheless, it seems to bubble and melt. Rushing for the closet, Otogi pulled out the fire extinguisher and sprayed it all over the smoldering oven. Strange hissing noises protruded from it, and Otogi could have sworn he heard it scream.

Or was that a giggle?

In any case, it didn't act like any normal EZ Bake oven would. Who knew ovens could act anyway? Otogi soon found himself lost in the fantasy of some EZ Bake oven in a skimpy dress receiving an award for some acting achievement… then a sudden jolt from a chibi on his chest forced him to the ground. "Oof!"

"MOMMY!" the chibi hugged Otogi's chest tight.

Otogi couldn't see who it was because there was smoke and steam everywhere from the tiny fire, but he could feel tiny spikes and only figured that it was Chibi Yami.

"Argh! Yami—if anyone's your mommy, it's Yugi, now off! And why aren't you in bed you little demon?" Otogi pushed the chibi off of him.

As he sat up, the sound of a chibi's wailing filled his ears. Sighing, Otogi picked up the chibi. "There, there… don't cry."

"Mommy… doesn't like me…" it wailed.

"Like I said I'm not your-" The smoke was clearing now and Otogi could see black hair instead of Yami's usual red and blonde. "OH MY GOD I BURNED YOUR HAIR!"

The chibi giggled. "Mommy didn't buwn my haiws!" He peeked up and kissed Otogi on the nose. That's when Otogi got a good view of who the chibi really was.

"Ch-chibi… me?"

"T-tibi me?" The chibi version of Otogi mimicked.

"But, how'd this happen?"

"Butt how'd dis happens?" Chibi Otogi giggled.

Otogi blinked for a few times, looking into his chibi self's huge green eyes, before his eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted.

TBC 

**Otogi**: I'm a chibi! ^_______________^

Um… yup! ^.^; This is so fun! I think I might actually update this on a regular basis!

**Otogi**: R&R!


	2. Griggle Grahams

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::Kitzaku-san::

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Disclaimer: I don't own it! I swear!

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Authoress' Note: ^_^; I'm glad people liked it. Yeah, I know there should be more Otogi fics out there! Especially the chibi ones. Oh! And if you ever want any information on Otogi… go here! http://geocities.com/duke_of_otogi Heh, I know—it's a shameless plug for my Otogi shrine, but there's a lot going on there! ^.^ In any case…Anyone want an Otogi chibi? There's not much I can do… but since I do have an EZ Bake oven that my Yami Muse uses… I could always make exceptions with my Otogi muse…

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Otogi: Don't you dare!

Oh, I dare just fine!

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Otogi: You can't just… go around making _replicas_ of me! It's imperceivable! It's impossible! It's against my religion.

Stop quoting from Inu Yasha.

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Otogi: Hush. Besides—there's no way Yami'll let you use his EZ Bake oven.

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Yami Muse: ::hands Kitzaku his EZ Bake oven:: Merry Christmas!

Hee… ^.^;

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Otogi: Oh, god… help.

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::A Chibi, a Clone and an EZ Bake Oven::

Otogi woke up some time later. He didn't know how long he'd been knocked out cold, but it couldn't have been for very long. The EZ Bake oven has ceased its smoking, but the little Chibi version of himself wasn't around anymore.

"Maybe I was seeing things…" Otogi rubbed his head, mumbling.

No sooner had he said that, but a tiny face appeared from behind a bookshelf. "Wakie Wakie!"

Otogi's eyes widened. There really _was_ a chibi version of himself! And this time, he was able to get a better look at him. The little demon was wearing the same black pants and shirt that he himself was wearing, including the red vest. Though, the medallion he had around his neck was a little too big for him. Not to mention instead of a large dangling dice earring, the chibi had a tiny dice in his left ear. He looked like half-Indian with his little diamond-patterned headband and spiked black hair pulled into a ponytail. His hair looked too big for his head, but even that didn't compare to his enormous green eyes. The giant orbs took up almost half of his face.

"Where'd you come from?" Otogi sat down in his chair and rubbed his temples. He was already one heck of a headache.

"Um…" The chibi touched his cheek for a minute. "Da stork?"

Otogi couldn't help but laugh, and his chibi laughed along with him. When Otogi stopped, the chibi stopped. "You like mimicking me, don't you?"

"You wike mimicking me, down't you?" Chibi Otogi grinned. Otogi rolled his eyes, and his chibi attempted at doing the same, but instead all he could do was cross his own eyes and wrinkle his nose. Eventually, he gave up and waddled over to Otogi's seat and pulled on his pant leg. "I'm hungwy."

"Um… ok." Otogi picked up the mini version of himself and walked over to the cupboard. Usually, there were some Griggle Grahams for the chibi's to munch on. After fishing through Fischer Price toys that someone found themselves in there, he came across the half-eaten box. "Will these do?"

"Gwiggle Gwahams!" Chibi Otogi giggled with delight and dug his hand into the box to retrieve his prize. He shoved them into his mouth and grinned wide.

Otogi smiled. "Well, I'm right about one thing: I _am_ well behaved. And not to mention cute."

Chibi Otogi managed to swallow his Griggle Grahams and look up at his older self. "Who's cute?"

Otogi blinked. "You. Or… me. Or is it us?"

Chibi Otogi shook his head violently. "No no no! He's cute!" and he pointed to a Griggle Graham in his hand.

"Right." Otogi humored him and agreed. What was so confusing was exactly _how_ he made this chibi version of himself in the first place. He couldn't have came from the EZ Bake oven… could he?

Chibi Otogi was continuing to talk about his Griggle Graham. "I wanna name hims Fwank."

"You're naming a cracker?"

"Yeah! Fwank!"

"Frank?"

"No, Fwank!"

"Oh." Otogi raised an eyebrow and paused. "Speaking of names, what would I call you anyway? And I don't want to call you Frank."

"Fwank!"

"Right, sorry. Fwank." At the mentioning of his Griggle Graham's name, Chibi Otogi hugged it. "Well, I could just call you Ryuuji. I mean, that _is_ your name, isn't it?" His chibi stared at him blankly. So Otogi shrugged. "Ryuuji it is then."

"Make Fwank real fow me!"

"ACK! How am I supposed to do _that_?" Otogi set Ryuuji down and the chibi ran for the EZ Bake oven remains and pointed to the Kuriboh Cakes that Otogi tried making earlier.

Only, instead of Kuriboh Cakes, there were oversized fluffballs there, with little spirals for eyes. "Fwank says he wants to be real wike dems!"

"Frank—I mean Fwank told you that?" Otogi asked, only to receive Ryuuji's eager nod. "Well—I don't remember how I… did that."

"But youw magical wight?"

"Now, who told you _that_?"

"Fwank."

"Figures." Otogi rolled his eyes, and this time Ryuuji didn't mimic him. "Listen, I can't turn Fwank into a real Griggle. I'm not magical and—wait a second. Those Kuribohs are _alive_!" Otogi jumped backwards and grabbed a meter stick. He poked one of the knocked out fluffballs and it reacted. The thing suddenly regained consciousness and hopped up on its hind legs.

Forgetting all about the Griggle Graham, Ryuuji hugged the awakened Kuriboh. "Fwank!"

"What? I thought Fwank was the Giggle Graham?" Otogi picked up the cookie and knelt down beside Ryuuji.

"No—his soul twansferred frough the meter stick." Ryuuji stuck his pointer finger up, making a fact and went back to squeezing the Kuriboh that was no bigger than he was.

"That's a pretty big word to be coming from you." Otogi said, surprised. Apparently, Ryuuji wasn't listening because he was petting the top of Fwank's head.

"Dere. Dere. Now you'we king of da bwocks!" And he took Fwank's hand and led the Kuriboh over to the pile of blocks that Chibi Yami Bakura and Yami were fighting over before.

A sudden sniff came from the nap room and Otogi left Ryuuji and Fwank for a moment to go and check it out. Yami's fist was balled up and he was wiping his eyes. They were red from crying, but not loud, apparently. "Ugh—what'd you do now?"

"I hadda pwoblem…" Yami sniffed and pointed to the large dark spot on the bed.

Growling, Otogi took Yami and set him on the floor next to a change of clothes Yugi had set out for him. How he expected his Yami as a chibi to fit in leather pants was beyond Otogi's comprehension anyway. "I'm not supposed to be as low as this… cleaning off toddler's bed sheets…" he grabbed a pile of newspapers and covered the bed in them. "That should do it…"

"'Otogi… how do you do's dis?" Yami looked up. He was naked from the waste down and the extra pants were hanging off a spike of his hair.

"Hee… I see his wee wee!" A tiny voice called out from the door. Otogi whirled around to see Ryuuji sucking his thumb and giggling with glee. Fwank was purring behind him.

Yami growled and ran across the room, the pants falling off his head, over to Ryuuji. He then proceeded to kick the Chibi in the shin and then disappear out the door, giggling like mad. Ryuuji's huge green eyes starting quivering and then filled up with tears. In a matter of seconds, he was bawling loudly and running over to cling to Otogi's leg. "He huwt me, Mommy!"

Otogi's eye twitched at the word 'Mommy' but he let it slide at the present moment. "He didn't mean too… shhh." He knelt down and opened his arms and Ryuuji ran into them. "There, now I have to go take care of Yami…" And with those words, Otogi left the room.

"Awww… that was so sweet." Yami Bakura's cold voice came from the crib. He was standing up and peeking through the bars. His orange jammies made him look like a tiny prisoner. He looked as if he'd been awake for the whole thing, just watching silently.

Ryuuji's eyes widened. "Don't huwt me!"

Yami Bakura folded his chibi arms and grinned. "I'm not gonna hurt you." His eyes narrowed. "Listen, you see that hanger over there? Hand it to me." (**Authoress**: Quite the intelligent chibi, now aren't we?)

Ryuuji looked about and found the target, then he brought it over to Yami Bakura as ordered. "Hewe."

"Thanks, kid." He used the end of it to unlatch the crib and crawl out. "You're not too bad. I like you." He punched Ryuuji's shoulder lightly. "Now come on. Let's go steal some cookies."

Ryuuji tilted his head. "But that's bad."

"I don't care."

"Ummmumumummm! I'm gonna tell on yous!" Ryuuji turned around, but tripped over his pet Kuriboh. Yami Bakura stood over him.

"You're not telling anybody…" He growled. "Now get up, and follow me."

Reluctantly, Ryuuji got up, and followed. Though, he still held tightly to Fwank's green paw as he did so.

Yami Bakura looked behind him for a moment. "And don't bring that overgrown fluffball."

"Fwank's my fwiend!"

"You named him Frank?"

"Fwank!"

"Whatever." Yami Bakura rolled his eyes. Ryuuji blinked for a moment and though, _how come everyone can do that but me?_ "Now leave him and lets hurry before 'Togi gets back!"

Yami Bakura and Ryuuji quietly slipped from the nap room into the nursery, on their tiptoes—or as close to tiptoes as chibis can get, and headed for the cupboard of the Griggle Grahams.

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TBC

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Chibi Otogi (Ryuuji): ^.^ Fwank wants to say somefink!

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Fwank: Bweee!

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Ryuuji: Um.. Fwank says: "Pwease, stay tuned for da next exciting chapter of A Chibi, A Clone an' an EZ Bake oven. Where I, Fwank the Gweat, am the Stuper-Hero wif magical powers and Ryuuji gets to be cwowned King of Spain!" Wow… Fwank, reawwy?

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Fwank: ::rolls eyes:: Bwee… 

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Ryuuji: How comes everyone can dos that but meeses!

::ruffles Ryuuji's hair:: Because you're just too adorable when you cross your eyes!

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Otogi: Am I adorable? ::crosses eyes::

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Yami Muse: No.

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Otogi: I didn't ask you!

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Yami Muse: In any case.. I made actual Kuriboh cakes that have R&R on 'em! 


End file.
